


Cats, Hissy Fits and Halloween

by alynwa



Series: Sugar and Spies Tales [22]
Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leona's choice of costume does not make her parents happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cats, Hissy Fits and Halloween

Rosie Greer had taken Paige and Leona Nicole to Green Acres Mall to look for Halloween costumes.   Leona was a very articulate three years old and this was the first year the adults in her life thought she could have some say in what she wanted to wear to go trick or treating.

“Alright, girls, do you have any idea who you want to be for Halloween?” she asked.  She was thinking they would both want to be princesses and, indeed, that was what Paige said.  She was a little thrown by Leona’s answer.

“I want to be Catwoman!” the little girl practically shouted.  “She’s on Batman!”

Rosie had heard of the Batman TV show, but had not seen the character Leona mentioned.  “Did you see a Catwoman costume here?”

Leona smiled and said, “Yes, Aunt Rosie, over here!”  She took her aunt’s hand and led her and Paige down the aisle.  “I want this one!” she shouted excitedly and pointed.

 _Oh dear,_ Rosie thought as she looked at the cardboard cutout of a life – sized Catwoman in a skin – tight leather jumpsuit, _I’m not sure about this._ “I think you better ask your parents about this just to be sure.  OK, Leona?  They should be at our house by the time we get back.”

The little girl pouted at that, but she knew better than to kick up a fuss with her aunt.  Besides, she knew that Daddy and Papa would give her what she wanted.  “OK, Aunt Rosie,” she replied.

Sure enough, when they got back to Springfield Gardens, Uncle Lamont was sitting in the living room with Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin having a beer while they watched the news.  “Daddy!  Papa!” Leona shrieked happily as she ran into the arms of her Papa who showered her face with hugs and kisses.

“What am I?  Chopped liver?” Daddy teased as he held out his arms for her.  She let go of Papa and ran to Daddy who pulled her into his lap.  “I missed you, Leona Nicole, I’m so happy to see you.”

“I missed you, Daddy and you, too, Papa.”

Rosie had hung up her and Paige’s coats and then joined the other adults in the living room.  “Leona honey, please go get your backpack from your room and say goodbye to Paige,” she said.  When Leona had dashed out of earshot, she looked at the Section II agents and said, “I was going to buy a Halloween costume for her, but when I saw who she wanted to dress up as, I thought you boys needed to know about it before I did anything.”

The Russian’s eyes narrowed in consternation.  “Who does she want to be?”

“Catwoman, from Batman.”

Illya had no idea who she was talking about, but Napoleon did.  “Ah, Illya, Catwoman is a villainess on the Batman TV show.  She’s played by the actress Julie Newmar.  The character wears a very tight, very sexy black leather catsuit, black high heeled boots and carries a whip.”

At Illya’s shocked expression Rosie said, “To be fair, the child’s costume is neither skintight nor leather.  It’s a black polyester jumpsuit that is belted and a black mask that covers the eyes in a cat’s – eye shape.  I didn’t buy it for her because I know, Illya, that you are very conservative when it comes to how Leona is dressed.”

They could hear Leona coming down the stairs.  “Thank you, Rosie.  Napoleon and I will discuss this and decide what to do.”  He and Napoleon stood up to leave.  “We are ready to leave, Leona Nicole; say goodnight to Aunt Rosie and Uncle Lamont.”

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

With the three year old securely and safely tucked into her bed, the two fathers retreated to their respective bedrooms to unpack and change into pajamas and robes.  Once they had changed, they converged on the living room; one, with a bottle of ice – cold vodka from the freezer and the other with an ice – filled glass and a bottle of single malt scotch.

Illya spoke first.  “I am not familiar with this Batman TV show or this Catwoman character, but she sounds very sexual and provocative to me.  You know how I feel about these things, Napoleon.  What do you think about this?”

After toeing off his shoes and stretching his legs on the couch, Napoleon said, “The costume is not overtly sexual, but the character is and I’m also not too keen on that idea.  And to tell you the truth, I would prefer that she not be a ‘bad guy.’  I see enough bad guys out there; I don’t want to see bad guys, even sexy ones, in my house.”

Illya got up and stretched until he felt he had popped every joint in his body.  “I am going to read in my room.  Perhaps, she will have forgotten all about it tomorrow.”

“Somehow, Partner Mine, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

The next morning, Illya and Leona were seated at the kitchen table having breakfast.  Napoleon took her to daycare when he left for work at 8:15 and Illya brought her home when he left work at three.  He enjoyed when she woke up early enough for him to bathe and dress her and share breakfast time with him.  “Leona, have you thought about what you want to be for Halloween?  I was thinking that it would be nice if you dressed up like a princess with a long dress and a crown or maybe a fairy with wings and a wand to grant wishes.”

The toddler shook her head so that her braids whipped from side to side.  “No, Papa, I want to be Catwoman!  She does this with her hands.   Grrrroowlll,” she made a sound that Illya guessed was supposed to be a snarling cat while holding her hands curled up above her head to simulate claws.

“No, Daughter, Daddy and I do not think that is a good idea, so you will not be getting a Catwoman costume.”  What happened next stunned the Russian into momentary silence.

“No!  No!  No!” the little girl screamed as she swept her arm across the table in front of her knocking her cereal bowl and glass of orange juice onto the floor.  “I want it!” she screamed, “I want it, I want it, I WANT IT!”  She was so wrapped up in her tantrum that she fell out of her chair onto the floor.  That caused the Russian to jump into action.

He leapt from his chair and went to pick Leona up, but she skittered away on her butt and continued to scream “No! No! No!” 

Napoleon burst into the kitchen with his gun drawn, but when he saw the tableau before him, he quickly tucked his gun in his back waistband and picked Leona up.  She continued to scream and cry while attempting to hit Daddy and get away.  Rather than allowing that to happen, Napoleon held her in such a way that her arms were secured, but he was not hurting her.  He kept repeating softly in her ear, “I know you’re upset, Leona, it’s okay, I’m going to hold you until you calm down.  Daddy’s not angry; he’s going to hold you until you feel better.”

Illya was flabbergasted.  “Leona Nicole, stop this!  Why are you acting this way?”  He was astonished and a little frightened; nothing in his experiences had prepared him for the onslaught of infantile fury that Napoleon was trying to contain.  “Stop it, stop it before I…” he ground to a halt because he didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t stop.  “Leona, please, you are scaring me,” he implored.

In the meantime, Napoleon kept a firm, but gentle grip on his daughter as he continued to speak softly to calm her.  At first, it was as if she couldn’t hear him, but after a few moments, she wore herself out until she was just huffing and puffing against her Daddy’s shoulder.  “It’s okay, Leona, it’s okay.  Daddy is going to let you lie down on your bed for a bit and then, we’ll get you ready to take to pre – school.  Okay?”  When he didn’t get an answer either way, he took the little girl to her room and laid her on the bed.  Kissing her forehead, he whispered, “I’ll be back to get you ready” before he exited and returned to the kitchen.  He looked at his partner and asked, “Are _you_ alright?”

“I do not know,” the Russian replied in dismay, “I have never witnessed a child’s temper tantrum before.  All I did was tell her she could not have the Catwoman costume.  When I was a child, we had to accept whatever the adults told us.  I do not remember anyone carrying on so.  We just…did not.  Napoleon, she _fell_ out of her chair!  She would not let me pick her up.  I…I have never felt so inadequate in my life!  I did not think Leona would _ever_ act that way.  I was afraid she had snapped and I did not know how to deal with that.  I am glad you were here!  How did you know what to do?”

As he poured himself a cup of coffee he explained, “My niece and nephews went through the ‘terrible twos and threes’ and I remembered what my sister and my brother – in – law would do.  Leona wasn’t defying you, not on purpose; she was frustrated and angry and those feelings overwhelmed her so I made sure she couldn’t hurt us or herself and just worked on calming her down.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she has fallen asleep.”

Illya shook his head as he put on his jacket.  “I wish I could stay longer to make sure she is alright and not angry with me, but I have a meeting in the lab.” 

Napoleon walked him to the door.  “Try not to worry too much, Illya.  I’ll speak with her, too.  The bottom line is:  She will _not_ be Catwoman.  I’ll see you in the office.”

He waited fifteen minutes and then entered Leona’s room.  As he had suspected, she had fallen back asleep.  He sat on her bed and slid her onto his lap.  “Leona, Leona Sweetie, it’s time to wake up.  It’s almost time to leave for school.  Wake up.”  He smiled as the little girl stretched and yawned.  “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.  Daddy, may I _please,_ please be Catwoman for Halloween?” she asked as she looked up at him with huge brown eyes.

 _She knows she can wrap both of her parents around her little fingers, but not this time._ “Leona, Papa and I talked about this and we do not like Catwoman.  Catwoman is bad and we do not want you dressing up as someone bad.  Papa and I fight bad people for a living.  Do you understand?”  He could tell she was still unhappy about the whole thing, but she didn’t look like she was going to throw another fit.

“Yes,” she replied sullenly.

He chose to ignore her tone and gave her a kiss.  “Good.  Let’s get your coat on so we can leave.”

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

Illya approached Leona’s pre – school with trepidation.  _I hope she is not angry._ He walked to her classroom and watched through the door’s glass as the teacher helped the children put on coats, hats and gloves in preparation for their parents coming in to pick them up.  Leona turned and saw him looking into the classroom.  “Papa!” she exclaimed and pointed to the door.  “My Papa’s here!” 

Miss Davis turned around, saw him and waved him into the room.  As soon as he stepped through, Leona raced to him and threw her arms around his neck when he knelt down to meet her.  He was so relieved that she was happy to see him that after kissing both her cheeks he asked, “How is my beautiful Leona Nicole?”

“Good!” she answered happily.  “We were all talking about Halloween!  I want to be Loot Nunu!  Please?”

The Russian was totally flummoxed and looked to Miss Davis for help.  “What is a ‘Loot Nunu’?  I do not understand.”  He sincerely hoped it was not something else he did not want his daughter to be for Halloween.   

“She means Lieutenant Uhura from that new show ‘Star Trek.’  She’s a black woman and one of the officers on the starship Enterprise.  I like the show; the character is a good role model for Leona, I think.”

Illya stroked his daughter’s head as she stood next to him.  “Daddy and I will let you know when he comes home, alright?”

“Yes, Papa!  Let’s go now!” she said as she grabbed his hand.

Illya thanked Miss Davis again and took Leona home.  He sent her to change her clothes after he unbuckled, unbuttoned and unsnapped them to make it easy.  When she finished changing, she met him in the kitchen for their after work – after school snack of fruit and tea.  When they finished, they went into the living room and he turned on the TV so she could watch cartoons.  He would prefer that she watch no TV at all, but Napoleon told him that some television wouldn’t hurt and he had to admit, he appreciated the time he could focus on something else.  In fact, while Leona sat engrossed watching Bugs Bunny, he picked up the phone and dialed the number for the Greers.

Rosie answered the phone.  “Hello?”

“Hello, Rosie.  It is Illya.  I want to ask you: Do you know this Lieutenant Uhura from a TV show called Star Trek?  Leona wants to dress up as her now; do you think that is a good idea?”

“Oh, that is wonderful, Illya!  She is played by a black actress named Nichelle Nichols and she is the Communications Officer directly under the Captain’s command.  She is intelligent, capable and a person you would want to Leona to emulate.  _And,_ I’ve seen the costume; it is pants under a tunic.  On the show, the women all wear mini – skirts, but the costumes are very modest.  I know how important that is to you.”

The Russian sighed with relief.  “Would you mind taking her to buy a costume when she comes to your house on Friday?”

“I would love to.  Listen, Illya, I have to go; I have something on the stove.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Thank you again, Rosie.  Goodbye.”  Hanging up the phone, he called Leona to him and asked, “Would you like me to read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ to you?”

“Yes, Papa!”

He smiled as he took her hand.  “Then let us go to your room to read.”

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

Napoleon came home a couple of hours later and began to make dinner.  _I have got to teach that partner of mine some simple things to cook!_ After he put the chicken and potatoes in the oven to bake, he headed off to Leona’s room where he could hear Illya reading Dr. Seuss animatedly in English and Russian.

“Good evening, Family,” he said as he entered the room.  Leona, who had been sitting next to Illya on the bed, slid off to run to her other father.

“Daddy, hi.  I want to be Loot Nunu for Halloween!  Please?” she wheedled as she hugged his legs.

“Leona actually means Lieutenant Uhura from Star Trek.  I asked Miss Davis and Aunt Rosie about this character and both assured me that she is a good choice for Leona’s costume.  If you agree, Aunt Rosie will buy it when Leona is at their house.”

Napoleon looked down at the face staring up at him and smiled.  “That sounds like a great idea.”

“Yay!” she cheered and jumped for joy.  “Thank you, Daddy.  Thank you, Papa!”

“You are welcome, Daughter.  Please go use the potty and I will come in to wash your hands so we can set the table for dinner.”  As she went into her bathroom and closed the door, Illya looked at Napoleon and said, “That takes care of this crisis.  How are we ever going to handle it when she becomes a teenager and wants to wear something revealing?”

Napoleon shoved his hands into his pockets and waggled his eyebrows.  “We’ll think of something.” 

 


End file.
